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Young adults are leaving churches at the highest rates on record. According to a Pew Research Survey from 2021, the share of U.S. adults that identified or affiliated with a particular faith or religion fell by 12 points from a decade prior. Compounding this, a Gallup poll revealed that the 70% share of U.S. adults that affiliated with a particular church, temple, or Mosque fell to a mere 47% in 2020. According to a survey by Christian research group Lifeway, Americans — particularly young ones — are finding churches and youth ministry to be judgemental, hypocritical and suffocating.
For my part, I understand this trend only through the lens of my limited perspective as a white, cisgender, gay, American, Christian man. I note these labels not because they define my whole physical and spiritual self, but because they inevitably narrow my perspective and judgement of others’ suffering. This is a good caveat to make for oneself as a person of faith. A long time ago, Christ encouraged us to maintain humility, using generosity and forgiveness to lead by example instead of performative and self-serving militancy (Colossians 3:12).
People in churches all across the country are quiet-quitting and silently deconstructing their faith — a process of unpacking or rethinking a life of religious belief.
They feel ashamed and unwelcomed; their thoughts and feelings are constrained by well-meaning yet hypocritical puritanism. Unfortunately, to organizations such as Calvary Chapel, this is not a bug, but a feature. Many congregations today operate In the same manner as the Pharisees who held their elaborate feasts in Jesus’ time, turning away the outcast for the sake of comfort.
By identifying with people’s struggles and taking them in for all they are, churches can embody the spirit that their congregants need. In a time of decline, we have an opportunity to reach out to a younger generation dissatisfied by destructive insularity within churches. Dismissal of legitimate concerns or struggles with identity as sinful abominations is shallow and unfit for communicating the infinite love of our creator.
This attitude of humility needs to be paired with a semblance of consistency. Shunning and ostracizing doubters in the name of God is not in line with Jesus’ cries for forgiveness.
Reject the abuse and toxicity that has turned my fellow young people away from churches. Irrevocably tying one’s psychological wellbeing and self-worth to an institution that denies others their seat at the table is not a sign of faithfulness, but of faith being so weak that any external challenge is seen as an existential threat. In his time, the Apostle Paul derided the hypocrisy of self-righteous faith. Perhaps we should listen to him.
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