The ups-and-downs of elevators on the UAA campus

This article will exhibit opinions on various elevators around campus. Each elevator has been ranked from best to worst and graded on a scale of 1 through 10.

Some of the criteria for what makes a non-terrifying elevator ride include the lighting, maintenance expiration date, interior aesthetic, sounds, bumpiness of the ride and cleanliness.

I award the best elevator on campus to the Engineering and Industry Building. It feels only fitting that an engineering program would be home to the best and least terrifying elevator experience. This elevator is available nearby most building entry points, offering an easy to find vertical lift when rushing to a class. The elevator is extremely spacious and receives a 10/10

The Natural Sciences Building elevator is not used quite as often as one would expect, offering a private alternative to the nearby stairs. The lighting has modern circular fixtures illuminating a maintenance date that is soon to expire. This elevator is aesthetically pleasing and is loud but stable – this elevator earns an 8.5/10.

The Health Science Building’s elevator is extremely bumpy – even while only gently walking – and the maintenance check date expired in August of 2023. Students have to play a game of tag when trying to get the elevator to reach the third floor. Aside from the obvious shortcomings of this elevator, the atmosphere and interior design earns an 8/10.

The Social Sciences Building elevator is incredibly fast and has the best interior walls on campus. The top panel is a shiny black with a wood base and round handles attached to the walls. The lighting is dark and ambient, I rate this elevator a 7.5/10

The ConocoPhillips Integrated Science Building elevator is large and stable with odd, but aesthetic, orange flooring that does not match the rest of the building. There is not much to fear when vertically traversing the three floor building, but the maintenance date is one year past due. Due to the large staircase in front of the building entrance, the elevator is often empty and allows for ten seconds of privacy before class. I give this elevator a 7/10.

The Student Union elevator near Enrollment Services' most notable quality is the ever-lingering scent of crayola crayons. Everytime I enter the elevator, I am met with unavoidable memories of my childhood. For the ten seconds I am surrounded by the pleasant but curiously obtained smell, I am unable to think of anything else than how the smell of crayons forever permeated the carpet of the small elevator. This elevator also has a larger than life image of one of our own editors from The Northern Light and the maintenance is up-to-date as of February 2024. Even though this elevator is nothing special to be in, the crayon-fueled nostalgia earns it a rating of 7/10.

The Consortium Library has some of the nicer looking elevators on campus with spacious, green coated walls and bright circular lighting. This elevator is up-to-date on maintenance, but occasionally makes a slight creaking sound while arriving at a hard stop that can churn your stomach, which earns the elevator a ranking of 6.5/10.

The Fine Arts Building does not have the most impressive elevator, as it is covered in many scratches on a metal wall and has the lingering smell of old wood — somehow reminiscent of the first day of elementary school. The elevator is up-to-date on maintenance and feels fairly stable. I give this elevator a 6/10.

Allied Health Sciences’ elevator acts as a building centerpiece. The layered black walls encasing the elevator entrance against the surrounding red walls is a very nice touch. The interior of the building is not quite so nice and is rather plain with late 80s wood paneling. I rank this elevator an 8/10.

The Administration and Humanities’ elevator is small and often jiggles with accompanying sounds when stopping or starting – making the two month maintenance inspection expiration date much more noticeable under the dim lighting. This elevator earns a 5.5/10.

Beatrice McDonald Hall has one of the latest maintenance expiration dates –  August 2023. The interior of this elevator is nothing impressive, which is disappointing as the rest of the building is full of color. I rank this elevator a 5/10.

Engineering and Computation’s elevator serves as a counter to the number one spot. The elevator is hidden and took a moment to find after entering the building. It was also covered in three cloth mats, which I assume was used to protect the walls from scratches while moving objects, but made the atmosphere a little odd and dark. The maintenance date came due in January of this year, but the elevator is fast and stable – I give it a 5/10.

The Professional Sciences Building’s elevator is fairly basic and not much can be noted except the slightly daunting lighting which makes you feel as though you are about to be interrogated. The small, gray rumbling elevator is up-to-date on maintenance but not a preferable mode of vertical transportation, which earns this elevator a rating of 5/10.

Rasmuson Hall has a surprisingly unpleasant elevator, in my opinion. The carpet on the floor is brown and hairy with gray walls to really make the intense fluorescent lighting glare. There are two elevators on each floor which is a nice addition, but the staircase nearby is much nicer. I give this elevator a 4.5/10.

The elevator that connects the skybridge to west campus is one that is used often when trying to get lunch or get to a class on the other side of campus in under 15 minutes. Of all of the elevators on campus, I would like this one to be updated sometime in the future. The interior has the feeling of being in your grandmother’s house — with the old wood paneling and yellow lighting to match. This elevator is two months past its maintenance check date and is fairly slow when it only takes you two floors. The best thing about this elevator is the aroma of the nearby Subway. I rate this elevator a 4/10.

I have used the Eugene Short Hall elevator very few times but each time has been a horrible experience. Students wait for the incredibly slow door to open up to a horrendous yellow lighting that showcases the expired maintenance date. As you begin moving, often there is a loud banging noise followed by a slow continuous creaking and shaking where you arrive at one more loud bang as you stop. Most elevators are slightly past their maintenance check date – including this one – but this is a terrifying elevator in my personal experience. I rate this elevator a 1/10 – the worst on campus – based on the fear it strikes in me.