What is love?

There’s a joke that if you’re a hopeless romantic, you can eat chocolate and it will essentially produce the same reaction in your brain as love. On the surface, that assessment isn’t too far off: Our brains release endorphins and dopamine when we eat chocolate and when we’re in love. So why is it that you only feel deeply connected to your partner and not the Twix bar in your hand?

Love is an incredibly deep and complex emotion, and to get to the bottom of what it entails, The Northern Light spoke with Dr. Hannah Ekstrom, the director of UAA’s Master of Science in Clinical Psychology program and the Psychological Services Center.

Love is rooted in the attachment system of the brain. “Our attachment system is the neurobiological system that includes beliefs and thoughts, emotions, and brain states of connection,” said Ekstrom.

Formed in early childhood, these systems are considered a biological imperative, meaning they are essential for humans to survive and thrive, according to Ekstrom. It is because of this attachment system that humans often seek out love, looking for attachment to a possible soulmate. 

But what is going on in our brain when we experience love? 

A study conducted by the Harvard Medical School presented college students photos of someone special to them and took MRI images of their brains, comparing those images to when those same students were shown photos of their friends. 

When shown people they loved romantically, the students' brains became active in regions rich with dopamine, the two major areas being the caudate nucleus and the ventral tegmental area. 

In particular, the ventral tegmental area is a part of the brain’s reward circuit, a primitive neural network that is sensitive to behavior that induces pleasure, including food consumption, drug use and sex. 

The reward circuit is activated by dopamine being released into the brain as a result of being “love-struck.” The release of dopamine causes a euphoric feeling, similar to the use of cocaine or alcohol.

The reward circuit’s activation causes responses such as blushing, racing hearts and overall anxiety in relation to your significant other. The brain also sees a rise in cortisol, leading to higher stress.

This cocktail of reactions is why falling in love can feel so stressful yet so euphoric at the same time. 

Other chemicals released as a result of romantic love include oxytocin and vasopressin. Oxytocin specifically deepens feelings of attachment, provokes feelings of contentment, calmness and security. This, in combination with love deactivating charges of negative emotions such as fear and social judgement, is what makes romantic moments feel so intimate and close. 

Over time, typically within one to two years, cortisol levels of someone in a relationship will return to normal and love will turn from a stressor to a buffer against stress. 

The study also states that as you get more attached to your partner, the stress begins to fade and the feelings you experience are largely positive and euphoric.

According to Ekstrom, “Love and connection in the long-term can help with management of stress.” 

She said that this attachment separates love from other interactions that cause your brain’s reward circuit to fire off. Eating chocolate may cause your brain to release some feel-good chemicals in a short burst, but long-term attachment and love provokes a continuous release of those happy chemicals in your brain.

A TED Talk by Dr. Guy Winch explained the attachment that love creates is also what makes a broken heart feel so Earth-shattering. 

According to Winch, losing a close connection with a significant other activates mechanisms in the brain similar to when substance using individuals withdraw from substances. He said this is why no breakup explanation ever feels satisfying, and why no matter how many reasons you may try to track down to explain why you were broken up with, you won’t be able to find one that justifies it to you. 

Ultimately, love is an incredibly powerful emotion. The human brain longs to be close to others, and the feeling we get when we finally find that significant other is unrivaled. No matter how devastating each breakup may feel, it is the yearning for attachment that keeps humans going back out into the dating pool for another attempt at finding the one you will spend the rest of your life with.